Why is it that I can write so well on school assignments? I search Pinterest and find pictures overflowing with inspiration, but the school assignments are when the words seem to just fill the screen. Adjectives, descriptions, and meaning just evolve and appear. I'm not quite sure what that means, or how I should even use that information. Should I focus on more analytic writing? Focus on the informative, less of the creative?
Maybe it is the scare of the deadline. Take tonight for example. I sent in one of the last special assignments four minutes before the deadline. Four minutes. I push myself into a panic, even though I had all week to work on it. I procrastinate, blaming work or being on campus, as the reason to why I've had to wait until now. But really, maybe deep down I know that my best writing is in the heat of the moment, when my thoughts have to written down fast, when they have to pour out like hot lava onto the page. When I have to send in the assignment before the words have time to cool, to solidify.
How to I translate this into my creative writing? The potential of actually finishing a story seems unattainable, out of my grasp. I can write the beginning, no problem, but once I have to think about a conclusion, and end, I freeze. The lava flow screeches to a halt. Sometimes I can see the end, but it is shrouded in fog and mist. It's not that I don't want to finish the story, but maybe I'm worried that I'll mess it up. That the ending won't do the story justice. Ending are my problem, at least for now.
For whatever reason, my schoolwork is bringing out my creative side this semester. It's strange but I'm thankful to have the words flowing again, even if it only for school assignments.